Matthew 20:20-28 A Mother’s Request
20 Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him.
21 “What is it you want?” he asked.
She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.”
22 “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?”
“We can,” they answered.
23 Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father.”
24 When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers. 25 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Introduction
Mums. I would have to say that most of us would say they are great, whatever the circumstance we know them under.
Whether it is a birth mum that has been there since you can remember – where they have looked after you, nurtured you, had your best interests at heart…
Or a forever or substitute mum that has come into your life because of unique or difficult circumstances which have since shaped it when you needed and wanted it most…
Or maybe a mum that is sadly no longer with us but we remember and cherish them for being there when they were with us and are a compass for us in our way of behaving, or way of living, our sense of who we are as a person now.
Reading this passage from the Bible brought me to think about my own mum and her for me – especially when I needed it the most. I feel fortunate that she was willing to look out for me, defend me, care for me when times were tough or believed I needed assistance.
That started at a very young age. When my brothers and I were born (I am the eldest by the way), she and my dad had many herculean challenges to deal with. We were all burdened with medical issues to different degrees of severity. My own medical issues required regular trips to central London and longer stays at a well respected orthopedic hospital in Stanmore, North London. My mum would spend hours and days with me without my dad – just to tend and care for me. Dad would look after my brothers at home with the help of grandparents while she was away.
My mum looked out for me. She looked out for my brothers too.
This is how I see Salome, the mother of her two sons James and John – good intentioned and looking out for her two sons who were both disciples of Jesus.
She loved them, was very proud of them and had great dreams for them to do well in the world. When she came to Jesus her request for her sons was an audacious one.
She asked that when Jesus comes into his Kingdom, He would have one of her sons seated on his right and the other on his left. She wanted her sons to have places of highest honour. This mum had big dreams for her children.
Winning and Losing
Let’s face it – our world is an ambitious one. It is a competitive world. Life can simply be about winning and losing.
We want to know who is the best, the fastest, smartest, strongest and maybe for some of us maybe even the richest. That’s why sports fans like football, rugby, tennis, the Olympics, etc. That is why we watch quiz shows and reality TV or play games at home. That is why we keep score – we want to know who’s up and who’s down – it’s a way of life.
I mean, someone has to support Wycombe Wanderers, don’t they Jason? It’s all part of the fun of it!
And it is for this reason that the mother of James and John came to Jesus. She wanted to make sure her boys were in front, leading the pack. If that meant asking a favour from the Lord, it was something she would do as she believes that her sons deserved it. It is obvious that she had big ideas for her sons.
Is ambition a sin? Is it sin?
Well, I don’t think so – if that was the case then where would the fun be? You would just stay in bed all day and not bother to do anything.
Ambition is merely a desire. A desire for a better future – and as such it can be both positive or negative. Ambition is extremely useful if used in the right way.
What are your ambitions?
What do you dream about?
What are your secret hopes for your own life?
How are they linked to your life with Jesus?
The playwright George Bernard Shaw reminds us that:
“there are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it.”
The context in which this passage is set is key. The event is mentioned in both books of Matthew and Mark and is towards the climatic end of Jesus’ ministry and around a week before the crucifixion as Jesus and his disciples are walking to Jerusalem.
As Jesus is coming to terms with his death which looms in front of him, his top men are vying for better seats in his kingdom. We can only say that it is human nature to do this – we are all susceptible to it. Some may say who can blame them. With that in mind we need to consider the conversation between the mother and Jesus Christ.
“Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him. ‘What is it you want?’ he asked. She said, ‘Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom’” (Matthew 20:20-21).
It is now at this point that we need to understand why Salome thinks she has a particular sway with Jesus and that is around the term of ‘Zebedee’ in the text when it refers to her sons. Bible commentators suggest that the mother was also the sister of Mary, the mother of Jesus. If that were true then James and John are actually cousins of Jesus and Salome is his aunt.
In this context you can understand why the mother believes Jesus would take care of his own family first over that of the other disciples. It must have been quite a scene – a mother with her grown up sons in tow. The parallel passage in Mark 10 makes it clear that the boys also had the same question in mind and had discussed it together as a family prior to these events. Perhaps the mother is getting involved because of that family link and the sons agreed that Jesus would be more sympathetic if that request came from her in the first instance?
And so she asks the question – for James and John to be given the seats of highest honour in his Kingdom. It is here that we see a danger that all parents face – for their children to fulfil the dreams of their parents instead of God’s for them. Sometimes we as parents can try to push our children into a mold of our own choosing. This is where we need to consider that a parents desire for their child and God’s desire may not be the same thing.
But then you have to consider again the context in which this passage is set. First of all it is clear that she believes that Jesus will one day have a kingdom of his own. At the time not many people believed that. He didn’t act or sound like a typical king and the disciples that followed him appeared to be a ragtag group rather than a royal court. To the untrained eye he appears far removed from that of a king, yet this mother saw past this and believes that he would indeed reign on the earth. She believed when many doubted.
Secondly, it is clear that Jesus loved her sons. In Mark 3 chapter 17 he refers to them as the ‘Sons of Thunder’ and they were his earliest disciples. It is also clear that together with Peter, all three were at the top of the tree of all the apostles. When Jesus was transfigured on the mountain as mentioned in various passages of the bible all three are present.
So, why shouldn’t the mother ask that her boys have the seats of highest honour?
If you read the other gospels it is clear that this was a clear and recurring controversy among the disciples leading all the way to the last supper. No matter what we may think about what the mother did and also James and John’s part in it, the other disciples wanted those seats as well.
These were competitive men. They were keeping score on each other so they could get ahead.
Fundamentally James and John underestimated the cost of following Christ and overestimated their own importance. They didn’t ask for work in the coming Kingdom which would have been nobler, but they asked for a place of honour. Seniority was the plea as they had been there the longest, with the exception of Peter. They wanted to get their application in early as they saw the Kingdom was nearly coming. A family deal was what they thought would be enough to ‘seal the deal’ as it were.
Honour is not given to who you think
What is Jesus’ response to this?
‘You don’t know what you are asking,’ Jesus said to them. ‘Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?’ ‘We can,’ they answered. Jesus said to them, ‘You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father’” (Matthew 20:22-23).
Well, he doesn’t rebuke the mother or her sons, nor does he deny that his kingdom is coming and that there will be seats of honour. Putting aside any selfish motives of the request, he just states that they don’t know what they are asking for. Then he asks the men if they can drink from the cup he is about to drink. With some courage they said they could.
Very confident, brave and honest, but unfortunately not very smart. Like any sporting big event like the FA Cup final the teams confidence the week before kickoff could just evaporate on the first kick of the game.
Sometimes perspective becomes out of joint from the reality and we can forget our limitations.
For example: Mohammed Ali who was on a plane and the stewardess asked him to secure his seat belt. He said to her “superman doesn’t need a seat belt” to which she replies swiftly “superman doesn’t need a plane either”.
Jesus doesn’t reject them or mock them and tell them to forget about it. He merely raises the bar as he sees us capable of more then we think we are.
You want to sit next to me? Fine. This is what it will cost you. The phrase “be careful what you wish for, you may get it” is probably apt.
James and John assumed their suffering was over and the work was done. How wrong they were. Their suffering was still ahead of them and the work was just starting.
The concept of a ‘cup’ in the bible speaks of a very personal experience. It is the same image Jesus used at the Garden of Gethsemane when he prayed that a cup of suffering he was about to drink would be taken away from him. That reference if the cup was in reality the burden of bearing the sins of the world. The cup is indeed something that is taken voluntarily but that was one which shouldn’t be taken lightly.
In the previous passage, Matthew 20: 17-19, Jesus explained to his disciples that once he got to Jurusalem he would be betrayed and treated badly before being crucified. He had full knowledge of what was to happen and the suffering he was about to endure. When Jesus was challenging James and John to join him in drinking the cup, he was calling on them to suffer in his name. Only he could pay for the sins of the world, but they could suffer with him by being faithful to him. This is what the apostles had to look forward to if they wanted to follow Christ.
Of course, this is exactly what happened. James became the first apostle to die – he was put to death by Herod Agrippa I in Acts 12. John was the last to die and ended up in exile on the island of Patmos. It was as if they were bestowed as bookends for the apostles – one being first and one last where death was concerned.
James and John wanted to talk about glory but Jesus replies by telling them about suffering. They wanted to have Easter without a Good Friday or a crown without a cross. Jesus’ reaction to that is “No deal I’m afraid!”. It was almost like he was saying “So, you want to be on my right hand and left hand? Great! Stay with me for a few days and you will see who is on my left and right – A dying thief on one side and another dying thief on the other as I’m about to be crucified. The Romans have two empty crosses – do you want to make a booking?”
So, with the phrase “Can you drink the cup I am about to drink” he is in effect inviting them to come and die with him in a manner of speaking. He is posing a question of the willingness to sacrifice everything that you hold dear to you in order to follow Him. If the answer was yes, then you too can also share in the rewards. This isn’t something you can take lightly. You only make this commitment when you have found something giving your life for.
Authority not Jesus’ but the Fathers
Jesus also tells them both that he wasn’t actually in charge of the seating arrangements. He is the host, but the Father would handle the seating chart.
The most important thing about God’s Kingdom is this: Make sure you are there and don’t get left out. Once you get in you can check the seating chart. But don’t worry – every table and seat is near to Jesus and everyone gets a fantastic view!
“When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers. Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many’” (Matthew 20:24-28).
The arguing has inevitably begun and let’s face it – being all human we can understand why. The other disciples are angry at James and John for going to Jesus first when they all wish they had thought of it first.
We are designed to compete and to fight for the top spot – looking out for number one to use a phrase. Winning and losing. Whether we admit it or not we all do it – we want to get ahead of others – it is a big motivation for everything we do.
Are we any different to either James, John and the rest of them?
So, before we pass judgement on the disciples for reacting this way we have to ask ourselves – would we also feel the same way if in their shoes, and I myself would have to hold my hand up and say “me too!”.
Jesus again doesn’t condemn them for feeling this way. He used the bickering as a way to guide them. To challenge them to channel their ambition in a completely new direction. Not to chase for personal advancement or glory by any means necessary, but by teaching them that to become a leader for him by becoming a humble servant.
Pick up a towel and start washing feet – think of yourself as a slave and not as a master. In saying this Jesus offers a complete rejection of the world’s way of dealing with business and competition. Instead of using people, we serve them and to reinforce it he uses a Greek word that means a maid or a house servant. He deliberately chose a very humble word to impress upon these men that being a disciple was a very humbling occupation.
Being humble is something that is very hard work for all of us. Especially in a world that lives by it. People in authority – especially in the church no doubt struggle with it too. We are only but human and authority is a great temptation in terms of those who have it and those who want it. I don’t believe however, that Jesus was attacking the concept of authority so to speak. It’s not as if the church should be leaderless. The words in this passage go to the source of leadership.
True authority arises out of servanthood. Jesus accepts that the idea of ambition can be good and godly. It is the pathway to it which is different. A real leader asks how he can serve the needs of others. A real leader does what needs to be done without making a big deal about it. So based on that if you want a good leader you need to ask yourself “Is this person a servant?”
Jesus came to serve us while we serve others.
He is the ultimate servant and he is not only our example, but he is also our servant.
So to sum up there are some things we need to make note of.
One is the mum in all of this and looking out for her sons with what seems quite a self-centred request – but I tend to find myself feeling sympathetic as they were willing to commit themselves to the continuation of the kingdom. They were willing to take a stand with Jesus even though they hadn’t read the small print of this request. They didn’t wait to choose sides. They would pay a heavy price for that commitment in the years to follow.
Let us learn that the road to heaven always goes by the way of the cross. If you miss it, then you miss heaven too. The cross stands at the centre of our faith – if you remove it then you remove Jesus from our faith as well. We are called to follow, and that means taking up our cross daily and following him wherever he leads us.
I leave you with the following question:
Are you able?
Are you able to drink the cup of suffering?
Are you able to follow Jesus to the cross?
Are you willing to follow God’s plan for your life?
In the end our greatest need is Jesus. It always comes back to him.
We are helpless without him – but in him all things are possible.
Are you able?
What is your answer?